Cell Phones in Public

What's the story with people walking around with these wireless cell phone headphones? Are their lives that busy that they have to have these devices connected to their heads all the time? The first time I saw one, it looked like a giant wart on somebody's head. And if you don't notice the device, it looks like the person is standing there talking to themselves. When I was a kid and you saw somebody carrying on a conversation with themselves in public, you crossed the street or walked into a different subway car. Is it too difficult for them to actually pick up a cell phone and talk into it? I've noticed that there's no shortage of people who don't mind talking on a cell phone in public. You could be at a restaurant or in the supermarket and there's somebody who'll be carrying on a loud conversation on their cell phone.

"Ceil...how's your son the doctor? Is he married yet? Tell him I have a pain in my side. Should I take Ibuprofin or Tylenol? Did you see the special on Kaiser rolls at Publix? Yeah, I got three for a dollar but they tasted like sawdust."

It could be that the wireless headphones are just a status symbol. There may be a market for fake wireless headphones that don't do anything but sit in somebody's ear. Or maybe one of the cell phone companies can come up with a new marketing special. For anybody who signs a 10 year contract, (notice that they never use the terms "contract" or "commitment", it's always an agreement) they can offer a special brain implant that will permanently place a cell phone microphone and receiver in the customer's brain. That way we really wouldn't have a way to tell the difference between crazy people and the ones with plastic growths on their heads.