'Shania Twain' defence works in drunk driver's favour

CBC News: 'Shania Twain' defence works in drunk driver's favour: "One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions."

This is great. Maybe I don't have to hire a bankruptcy attorney after all. Rene Zellwegger made me run up all of those credit card bills. She was controlling my spending from her home in Hollywood. And Sandra Bullock made me go out and buy that SUV. She even told me that the car dealer would pay off my existing loan! But she forgot to tell me that the new SUV dealer would add the existing loan on to the new loan. So what if I still had 4 years left to pay on the old loan? Now I can have a new car and it'll only take me 9 years to pay it off. Gas is almost $3.00 a gallon and the SUV only gets 8 MPG? That's okay, Britney Spears made me get a gas company credit card. She says President Bush told her it's okay. He's the president, after all. So now I'm nice and safe in my new SUV riding high above everybody else. I deserve it. Demi Moore said so.